important!

well, i've written on most people's blogs about this, but i've changed my blog to www.fateitis.blogspot.com.
thank you for all the comments on this blog, but my new blog will have new stuff and will be the one i use from now on.
thanks
:)

-AA

sorry!

SORRY! I guess I'm making this a big deal, but I feel so bad for not blotting the past couple of days. Blame school, not me :) But honestly, I feel like a letdown and a failure for not updating this. So many random things come to my mind but I never have time to share and expand on it. HOWEVER, I did get the Blogger app on my phone and despite the fact that I've rewritten nd retyped words many times in this post (touchscreen is hard), I am determined to keep posting. So, I'm back.
:)

-AA

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1 Person I Trust...

my mom.
no doubt about it.
<3

-AA

under construction!

well, i'm trying to spice up my blog, add a little things here and there to make it more interesting and fun :)
i've added more pages:

Home: you're reading it ;)

About Me: well, it's a little mini bio about me. 


Listen Up: this is a section where I talk through pictures. i'll put up quotes, songs, pictures, to describe my week. it'll have my current obsessions & my incessant rants. :) i'm super excited about this section!

Book Reviews: well, they're book reviews. unfortunately, i don't read as much as others do, so this section won't be updated quite as often as the others. but feel free to check it out & also, give me recommendations! (i'm pretty picky)

My Story: a place where I share my story as I write it. comments are welcome! and again, this won't be updated as much.


so what do you guys think? cool?


-AA

Ehhh

I wouldn't call this a dream. or a wish. or even a hope. It's more of a thought, a desire...something I've wanted and actually (kind of) believed in. This might sound stupid and inane, but I don't mind. It's the way I think.
Ever since I was little, I've wanted to be the eccentricity...the odd one out. I imagined myself as a girl adopted, with a Greek mother and a German father. At the age of 2, my parents had tragically died (something non cliche, of course), leaving me to be taken by another family...a family I'd grown to love. It was all inside my teeny, tiny head. My parents kindled with me and played around for a while. "Yes, we found you on the streets during our honeymoon", but after a while, I had to relinquish this "fairy-tale". I was just like everybody else. I was no different.
Although I'm older (and somewhat more mature), I've nullified the fact of adoption. Instead, I just hope I look different from the rest of my family. I don't want to look like my mother, father, and especially my sister (whom people says looks very much like me). Instead, I want to be the "unique" one.
Not only in myself, but I see flaws as beauty in others too. The ruffled, messy hair is sexy. A mole is beautiful. Two different colored eyes are stunning. Thick eyebrows are gorgeous. 
Usually, parents have to deal with  children nagging them with "this" or "that" so they can be part of the "in crowd". My parents, however, have to put up with me and my peculiar thoughts.

-AA 

2 Things I Want To Say...

*Ugh. I have no effin idea how I'm going to survive or what I want to do with life. I try my best and sometimes that's  not enough. I''m scared. What if I slack off too much? What if I do things wrong? What if it's too late? I'm freaking out because this is my last year to get things right. I don't wanna be the person everyone expects so much from, but then disappoints. Because that would suck. I want to be the person who surprises them all, including myself. I want to be strong, confident, amazing. I want to be perfect. So, help me. Help me please.

*Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for everything. Many, many, many times I "doubt" you, but you never disappoint. You're always here for me. Sometimes you get angry and you know what, I deserved it. Sometimes I don't get what I asked for...what I needed, but you know what, it's always for the best. I'm the selfish one. You're the one that's the most kind, the most grateful, the most just. Thank you for staying by my side. I know you'll always be here.

-AA

3 Words I Can't Use For A Day...

Um. This is weird. I don't actually have a notion of what this means, but I'm going to assume today's the day I tell you guys the words I use the most. Hm. Let's see...


1) like (very bad habit. need to stop using)
2) stop (but it sounds more like "stooooooop" in a whiny voice. this is a reference to my little sister who pesters me on every little thing)
3) I don't know (sometimes when I'm not in a mood to talk, I use this incessantly in a "whatever" tone. this drives my mom crazy.)


-AA

4 Memories I Won't Forget...

1) Summer 2008. The summer my whole family from both my parents sides (10 uncles, 4 aunts, & their spouses & their kids) all reunited for the first time. It was the last summer I saw my grandmother & one of the best summers of my life.


2) 2008-2009. Freshman year of high school was amazing. I miss it.


3) My sweet 16. 


4) All my trips to Pakistan.


There are so many more. These are just a few I'll never, ever forget.

-AA

"there's always gonna be another mountain. i'm always gonna wanna make it move. always gonna be an uphill battle. sometimes i'm gonna have to lose"

The sun blinded my eyes

The wind slapped by face

The rain soaked my hair

Yet I climbed.

My father’s yells thundered my ears

My mother’s tears flooded my mind

Yet I climbed.

His words broke my heart

Her actions lost my trust

Their lies were bullets to my heart

I needed to escape; I needed to climb.

My past is an incessant nightmare

My future a wounded trail;

With nothing to lose

Nothing to gain,

I hitch my bag

Tie my shoes

And I climb.

Just me by myself

I climb.

-AA

So...

I just did the laundry, vacuumed the house - twice, watched Taylor Swift's "Mine" video, wrote on my friends' walls on facebook, read other people's blogs, virtually "recycled" all my old documents, washed the dishes, created new folders to prepare for the next year, drank some juice, carried my books to the basement... just to waste approximately 4 hours, so I didn't have to start my AP Lang & Comp summer assignment.
Oh boy.
Well, the good I got out of that is
1) hey, at least I finished the book. (which was very good)
2) I found a poem I wrote last year. (it'll be the next post)
3) my mom's proud of me & my chores

-AA

every good thing comes with a downfall

summer 2010 has been great amazing & super relaxing & way more than i could ask for. and that sucks.
now school's starting in less then a week and i'm not ready. i'm not ready for the arduous & giant work load i'll have to put up with for junior year: APs, SAT, volunteer hours, extracurriculars, etc.
so this year is my year to make it or break it.
i got one chance.
oh God, please help me survive it.
so,
note to self:
suck it up & let's do this.

-AA

5 Things I Can't Live Without...

These were hard coming up with. I thought pensively and came up with things I would need if I was stranded on an island:


1) God
2) my family
3) chicken (practically, the only thing I eat)
4) shoes
5) a large, comfortable, warm coat (I'm usually always cold)


-AA

6 Songs I'm Addicted To...

TOP PLAYED (according to my iPod :)

1) "Teenage Dream" - Katy Perry


2) "Perfect Two" - Auburn


3) "Into Your Arms" - The Maine


4) "Me, Myself, & Time" - Demi Lovato


5) "Banana Pancakes" - Jack Johnson


6) "Something 'Bout Love" - David Archuleta


-AA

"i got my toes in the water"

Toes. Small. Big. Red, green, blue. French. Clear. Evenly trimmed. Not so evenly trimmed. Hairy. Waxed. Large separation. Close together. White lines. Black spots. Dark cuticles. Pedicured. Long second toe. Short third toe. Large big toe. All equal sizes. Bump on toe. Long nails. Short. 

I know it may be ludicrous, but I guess I have a tendency to stare at people's toes. They can tell so much about the person. Are they well groomed? Do they work a lot? Do they have free time? Do they have kids? And the list can perpetuate for miles.

And the bigger thing is is that no one person's toes are homogeneous to another's. They [the toes] vary from person to person, from time to time. Police officers and detectives use fingerprints to find the culprit since everyone has a unique imprint. I say, toes could work as well. 

-AA

7 Things To Win My Heart...

He should...


1) have a good sense of humor
2) know random, eccentric, fun facts
3) comfort/reassure me
4) be motivated
5) be a "family" person 
6) must watch football (so we can have incessant "my team is better than yours" battles :)
7)  be able to talk to me forever

-AA

8 Friends Who've Made A Difference On Me...

(In no specific order), these are my friends that have made an impact on me. There are so many, so it was hard to choose just 8. But it was random. So, here it goes...

1) Betsy

2) Anam

3) Megan & Kelly (just had to put the twins together :)

4) Maleeha

5) Swathi

6) Joy

7) Alexa

8) Rmaah

-AA

9 Things I Wish For Every Day...

1) I wish my grandparents were still alive.
2) I wish for my family to stay happy forever.
3) I wish to go to college (and a good one). I want to get over this whole high school life. It's tense.
4) I wish that everyday was longer. There's so much to do, but so little time.
5) I wish for my grandma to recover from Alzheimer's. 
6) I wish that life became simple and easy.
7) I wish I could make a difference. Maybe start a charity? Hopefully.
8) I wish that my hair grows longer & fast. (it takes a long time to grow)
9) I wish my family & I & quite frankly, all the good people in the world go to heaven.

-AA

Day 1: 10 Things About Me...

1) As you can probably tell from my previous posts, I don't like driving. I'm actually fine sitting in the back seat, letting the person in front take me where ever he (or she) wants  to. I suck at directions...and the thing is that I don't care. Maybe it's because I'm a natural born follower? But I think it's because I like the feeling of not having too much pressure on my shoulders. I can just sit back & relax for once.

2) I'm not really a people person. I can't makeup something clever to say right on spot. I'm awkward like that. Everything just sounds a whole lot better in my head...and in writing. I love my friends to death for putting up with me and understanding that.

3) I like it when people compliment me. I like it when people call me smart. It makes me feel like I'm someone who they look up to, someone they envy. I know it sounds selfish, but I can't help myself. I hate it when people ignore me.

4) I like silence. Sometimes I prefer just watching tv in my room or reading on Friday nights.

5) I'm a fastidious eater, but I love food. Alot.

6) Well, going with question 5 (kinda), I'm super self-conscientious. I know I'm not fat, but I always worry about that when I wear jeans, which is all the time. I look at the mirror for a good 10 minutes to see what angles make me look skinny.It's really pathetic.

7) I love skinny jeans. Best fashion trend EVERRRR!

8) I'm not big into talking on the phone. I think it's kinda awkward just hearing the voice. I prefer a face to face conversation.

9) I put too much pressure on myself. I want to be good at everything. I want to go to an Ivy league school. I want to be "cool". I want people to like me. I want to look pretty and sophisticated and good all the time. And most importantly, the number one goal in my life is that I want to make my parents proud.

10) I love rollercoasters.

-AA